Flowers for Mom

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All women seem to love flowers. You can make a lot of progress with a girl by just giving her one.

I don't know why it works but it does. She gets this flower, from you, and somehow she doesn't think "The flower's pretty, the guy's a twit."

This spring I went and bought a couple of little tubs of flowers and planted them in the yard. My wife loves pansies above all other flowers. So here's a pansy, growing right outside the front door.

In fact, I bought several packets of flower seeds, too, and scattered them around the yard. I do this each year, and our yard is starting to have colorful displays in various corners.

When I got to be about 35 or 40, I had this really good idea: send flowers to my mother. Not on "Mother's Day" as decreed by the political idiots, but on the real mother's day - my own birthday.

On that day, my mother sweated and suffered much agony to bring little me into this world.


It was fairly easy to go online and find a flower shop near my Mom and have a nice arrangement delivered.

She put it on the dining room table and smiled and cried for several days, remembering me and what a fine son I am, especially to remember her in this way.

I started doing this every year until she passed away.

My brother saw one of these arrangements and the note and said "Well, we always knew who got the looks and who got the brains!!" But he didn't pick up on the idea, as far as I know, so maybe he was right. I've told my own children about it but none of them seem to have grasped the idea either. Oh well, the brains are there, that we know.

I might have trained my children, taking them to a flower shop a day or two before their birthday, and help them pick out a small arrangement; but you see, brains don't work automatically, you have to think about things. Can't do something that never occurs to you.

But you, dear reader, can do this.

On your birthday, have some flowers delivered to your mother, if she's still among the living. Mark your calendar a few days in advance so you can get it arranged easily.

Probably best of all, go climb a mountain and pick some wildflowers and deliver them personally, but this won't work for everybody.

Dads, a day or two before their birthday, you can take your kid to get some flowers (you pay for it the first few years) and have them give these to their mom. Repeat every year. Eventually they will get the idea.
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